All of it is like de javu. He and I. But the difference is I seem like I dont know him anymore. I mean we aren't total stanger, but he turns to be cold and heartless and careless.
Does he remember what we did a year ago? Does he remember what he did when I had boyfriend? Does he remember what he did when I told him about a guy I chose?
I bet he doesnt.
You know what it feels like when your life is totally colorful because you're happy with yourself. Or when you totally feel independent. Then it suddenly turns into a total gray when you realized that you dont have him anymore?
I just think that someone will move to the better place. Someone will choose at least to the better one. Then its obvious, he chose her because I have nothing. But i can guarantee you that my heart is better than hers, the best for him.
I cared, still care.
How many times I told him about what should he do and shouldnt? I never get tired of making him a better person. But he didnt listen and dont listen and never listen. All he wants is happines. I know I cant give him much, and i know she can. At least I can do what is usefull for him, for his future, for him, just him, and only him. But once again, he chooses happiness. Then I left.
He seems happy with her and I am happy because he's happy. No it's not a lie. No it's not a poet. No it's not a quote. It's what i feel. So I try to give up. I slowly push him away, but its useless bacause I still care.
I remember all the things he did. All the things we did. I remember when we hugged, kissed, laughed, all of those I still remember. I wont forget it because I know we'll never be together but at least we can be us for a little while. At least I was happy when I was with him. At least there are stories between us. At least I was with him.
Then the time is running. I can't believe its been 26 months. And I cant believe we'll have to say good bye. I count, always. I hope we can be us like we used to before. I hope he will remember me, because I will.
I hope he gives me a chance.
And its February 29. Its leap year. I wanted to make it special and you made it for me.
And when we meet again in two or three or maybe five or six years later, I will ask him
"Do you remember?"
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